April is c-section awareness month. To all the hard as nails mothers who have endured this. You’re still as much of a mother as the next woman. Major surgery is by no means the ” easy way”. To those recovering and those about to enter into motherhood. Just thought I would share these with you.

If your not a fan of blood or Glory, PLEASE do not click on the picture

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Emotions

So when we told family we was expecting twins, no one believed us until shown scan picture, it was so. Much to take in, a couple hours ago was sat thinking we had lost it and. Now suddenly there is 2!!!! Everything ran through my head… Omg how will i cope with 2 baby’s and a 2 year old am i mad!! I went through so many emotions to the point i wouldnt except it was twins, i felt guilty for Marley my 2 year old how will he react, how he will. Lose our time together,  it took me 7 months to actually sink in its twins!! I was getting tips from other twin mummy’s, reading “horror story’s” of other twin mummy’s, how they not slept in days or even had time to brush there teeth, this scared me..you think surely these people are fibbing!! But who knows untill there here!! All you can do is cope you will have no choice!! All i ever heard is routine and be organised, i am the most unorfanised person ever how is this going to work!!!! 

As time went on,  the. Bigger i got the more tired i felt and the guilt i felt towards Marley as i didnt have much time to give i just wanted to sleep, all this attention he wanted and games he wanted to play i couldnt, i felt he was being pushed out and guilt kicked in and made me feel so down i felt useless, morning sickness was awful and made me not want to move for days!!

People would say ” not long to go ” my reply would be am only 28 weeks and there look on there faces was a picture! You always wondered what they was really thinking!! 

I started showing at 11 weeks which i thought was crazy as am a big girl and from 11 weeks i grow and grow but tried to push myself to carry on with. People said having twins is a blessing.. From what i heard it didnt sound. A. Blessing!! Scans every month baby’s breech, getting to the point i needed crutches to walk, getting out of bed become a tearful task, i wanted this. Over and done with i didnt want to be pregnant anymore!

My last scan was 36 weeks, i sat explaining to consultant how i just cant take anymore i was so big and how tired and fed uo i was they told. Me next Wednesday at 37 weeks i will have a c section..i felt relieved but also scared, that time of not havinf time to. Brush your teeth is going to be a week away!! I hoped. It would go so slow!!!